Gwenix Playlist Notes
Here's the link, here's the notes.
Story points are still subject to change at this point but probably not majorly...?
Two Door Cinema Club – Wonderful Life
This one represents Gwen trying to convince Phoenix to join her side and fight against the Kalat, which somehow happens to work despite Gwen having no reason to think it would.
It also sets a thematic through-line about how important it is to move past your anger, and maybe about understanding where someone else is coming from – or failing to. It could really work for their entire relationship in this story. Great starting song really, sets the tone.
AURORA - Animal
Phoenix singing to Gwen here. The sort of period where Phoenix, who mind you is still completely self-interested despite her change of alliance, has to adjust to playing nice. She’s still an ‘animal’.
“Hunting for love”
she starts to enjoy Gwen’s affection and tries to be nicer so Gwen will be more friendly with her. At this point it’s still platonic.
“Looking for a corner where I can’t be found”
she can’t go back to the Kalat after rebelling, so she’s hiding out and sleeping on the streets for a while. She could probably ask Gwen to stay with her, but this also doubles as a metaphor for her hiding her true self because she’s afraid to be vulnerable. For now.
“The weight upon my shoulders felt so divine”
she actually starts to enjoy the idea of responsibility, mostly as a goal she can achieve to gain recognition and respect
“Watching every step I take before I die”
Phoenix doesn’t really believe this will work out at all. She knows she was sent here to die, and she won’t be welcome back. She decided she’d rather go out as a thorn in their side.
Fitz and the Tantrums – Out Of My League
This time it’s actually more from Gwen’s perspective! She feels like Phoenix is much better than her, at least as a fighter. As she starts to calm down, Gwen worries she might just be a better hero in general.
“If I die don’t wake me; ‘Cause you are more than just a dream”
could be read as Gwen thinking if she fails and gets killed along the way, Phoenix is more than capable of filling her position and saving the world. Given the particularly romantic tone of this song, it might also represent where they start to catch feelings.
Grouplove – Tongue Tied
I think this one is mostly to represent Gwen introducing Phoenix to her friends and family, them getting to have some more ‘down to earth’/’slice of life’ bonding outside of hero work, and some level of the “will they-won’t they” they have at this point. They both want it, but Gwen is too afraid to scare Phoenix off and Phoenix is too afraid to show or admit she cares that much; and they’re both afraid that they’re maybe just too different. They’re both willing the other to make the first move.
This is around where Phoenix starts being willing to be more vulnerable with Gwen, admitting she’s been sleeping on the streets and accepting her help. Even though it means Gwen has to see her true form.
TheFatRat – Never Be Alone
“You’re gonna break my heart; You’re gonna tear it apart; No matter what you do; I’ll still be there for you”
Could be either perspective, but I think it’s mostly Gwen because Phoenix gets Sad Machine with a different sentiment. She thinks of Phoenix as the start of problems because she has a more abrasive personality, but still thinks of herself as the ever-patient partner (lover?) who stays through it all and helps her become a better person.
If this applies to Phoenix, she’s thinking that Gwen will break her heart by getting hurt or killed, but she’ll be there for her until the end. Gwen will never be alone. Phoenix will.
They are each entirely aware of their own feelings at this point and maybe only now considering how much the other could emotionally devestate them, in part because this is the first romantic connection either of them has ever had.
Porter Robinson – Sad Machine
You could say working for the Kalat, she was treated like a machine made to serve a purpose, which maybe made her sad.
This is probably Phoenix’s pov concurrent to Never Be Alone. Where Gwen focuses on the idea of Phoenix hurting her and them working through it; Phoenix, ever the pessimist, worries about Gwen getting killed because she’s less experienced as a fighter.
“This girl who’s slept a hundred years has something after all”
maybe she feels like she’s been ‘asleep’ to the value of bonding with someone for her whole life, and now she finally has something of her own.
“I’ll go alone, and never speak of this again”
She tells herself that she’ll just go on, never loving again, and telling anyone who asks that she has never loved.
“I depend on you”
She’d be lost on this planet without Gwen. She’d be destroyed by the loss.
At some point the thought of “I’ll go alone” might become less “if Gwen dies” and more “I’ll go save the world by myself so she won’t die” – now “I depend on you” is her motivation, to save her. “never speak of this again” because she refuses to admit the real reason, maybe because she doesn’t want Gwen to know that she thinks she would die. She doesn’t follow this plan because she’s too attached to Gwen to leave her for no good reason.
This is Phoenix struggling with starting to care about anything again. This whole plan started out as her wanting herself and Earth to go out with a bang, but now she has something to look forward to. Something to lose.
The Strokes – The Adults Are Talking
Phoenix being pissed at Gwen’s allies with the Protectors who don’t trust her. This is slightly less about them and more just about Phoenix, but it soon ends up effecting their relationship.
“I know you think of me when you think of her”
the two are so close, especially when doing hero work, that the PID heroes expect Phoenix when they expect Gwen.
“I know it’s not, it’s not your fault”
is definitely directed at Gwen.
“I don’t want anyone; Always I do, it’s not for you”
Phoenix falling back on the idea that she’s only cooperating to save herself and doesn’t care about Earth/humans. Maybe slightly lashing out at Gwen suggesting she doesn’t care about her either.
Madeon & Sam Gellaitry – Red Jacket
"Don't say you and me are just the same"
Phoenix is tired of Gwen pretending she knows what she's going through.
"I think you know it's not the same way"
Because surely she knows they treat her differently? Maybe they treat Gwen like she's stupid, but at least she's a lovable liability.
"You should’ve known that You’re out of time"
Phoenix has made it more and more clear up until this point that she's not putting up with the way PID treats her much longer.
"I used to see us as a blessing; Until I watched the world crumble down"
She admits how much she liked Gwen, how much she wanted to be with her, but she can't stand this treatment. And worse, Gwen just letting it go on.
"I’m pretty sure that you have noticed Written on my face"
In the build up to her actually leaving, she's just kind of silently devestated for a while as Gwen tries to convince her.
"[Gwen] is still trying to convince her, but all she really hears is that [Gwen] chose the Protectors. After a while of Phoenix not responding, [Gwen] stops and asks if she's okay."
"Phoenix, her voice shaking, tells her "I loved you." And then she disappears."
This one comes from Phoenix's POV. It just came out and it happens to already fit so well with the exact scene I had already written for this part. Thank you both for making this song specifically for us <3 /j
Also the image of Phoenix keeping one of Gwen's jackets felt really cute and sad
:,[
Every Note from Mystery Skulls finally had a worthy replacement.
Madeon – Lonely Space Age
Replacing Every Note from Mystery Skulls, a song that fits Gwen's mood here much better. She just wants Phoenix back.
“It's a miracle I made it through the night”
fits really well with Phoenix's moon/night theme; just about every time she opens up, it's at night. They usually spent the night together. Sitting in her room by herself just reminds her of what she lost.
“Now your memory is burning me alive”
Fire theme + Gwen still being fucked up thinking about her
“Oh, I play the part; I’m an actor in the movie of my life”
Gwen is still taking the role of hero, the prophecy and all, none of that has stopped. Her coping mechanism here is really leaning into the role. Phoenix tended to be the one who got her to lighten up anyway. She's really stoic and serious now. Even when she lightens up for a moment, it tends to remind her of Phoenix, and the mask goes right back up.
“Cause 'I love you' is the weapon of this crime”
goes back to Phoenix saying "I loved you" before disappearing on her
“Just another day of waiting for the dark”
Back to the moon theme, she's waiting for the night – a time she used to always spend with Phoenix.
“I saw you smile; For a moment I believed it should be mine; But I know you have to move on with your life”
Gwen seeing Phoenix seemingly get over her completely and start a relationship with Hazel, trying to come to terms with it and be happy for them when she still desperately misses Phoenix.
“I just miss the way you loved me like a child”
I'm taking this to mean here a sort of childish ‘First Love’ type thing. Like highschool sweethearts. Phoenix also kind of helped keep her connected to her more childlike / playful side. With her gone, even if she's more "in tune" with that now, it reminds her of Phoenix and that makes it hard to actually have fun.
“Before the night, I wanna believe; You'll run, run, run until you come back to me”
she just really, really wants Phoenix to come back, and they can spend the night together again. Like before.
La Roux – I’m Not Your Toy
“Love, love is like a stubborn youth; That you'd rather just deny”
Phoenix is telling herself that her own feelings are a youthful indiscretion that she needs to mature and deny, at least acknowledging that it’s hard to do.
“You don’t want me; You just like the attention”
but here the ‘attention’ Phoenix is accusing Gwen of wanting instead of her is the approval of her older allies.
“Love, love hides in a smoky light; I can never find the truth”
Trying to convince herself Gwen didn’t care, she looks for proof that’s hard to find, while telling herself it’s just really hidden because she wants it to be the truth.
“I wish I could believe in you”
Admitting she still misses her but quickly followed by reminding herself,
“Yes, it's all false love and affection”
Part of her falling out might be a desperate ploy to escape caring about Gwen, to go back to having nothing to lose.
Porter Robinson – Cheerleader
I can tell you’re acting your heart out
Phoenix is pretending she’s gotten over whatever feelings she might’ve had for Gwen, maybe even pretending she never actually cared that much at all
Obsessed like, "I know I can fix him"
Gwen is so, so sure she can get through to Phoenix again
Her love the type; Where she don’t know where to draw the line
Phoenix choosing to look like Gwen because she thinks she’s attractive is definitely kind of strange. which mind you she doesn’t change during all this.
Says she hates me ‘cause I’m not hers
Phoenix saying things she doesn’t mean in the heat of anger.
Thought she needed me but I need her
Gwen thought Phoenix needed her to find her place on Earth, and Phoenix thought Gwen needed her training and help. They both realize that they needed each other.
Don’t you care? I gave you everything
Phoenix changed a lot to try to be a hero, but Gwen chose PID over her as if she still wasn’t good enough. Gwen tried to give Phoenix a place in her friend group, even a place in her home when she was stuck on the streets, but she only seemed to care about how PID felt. They both feel like the other is ignoring what they did for them.
Now I feel you even when you’re not there
They got so used to working together that they kind of expect the other to be there. They anticipate the other reacting to them, and then nothing happens.
It's kinda sad how; It's not your fault you're living in a madhouse
Gwen lamenting Phoenix’s background and how it’s effected her, maybe wanting to blame that for the argument instead of Phoenix… or herself.
I can’t back down
Both think they’re right, and that they know what’s best for the other.
Aren't you tired of blending into the background?
Phoenix still being annoyed that Gwen was so attached to following the prophecy, like she’s indistinguishable from text of the prophecy itself.
Cause if you're not mine, I'd rather see you burned alive
Phoenix gets very violent with her frustration, to the point of physically fighting Gwen a few times.
She definitely claims she doesn't care if she kills her. The illusion is broken when she lands a killing blow, and… it doesn't hurt her. Her powers subconsciously went into a harmless "sparring mode", because she can't actually bring herself to hurt her.
It doesn't help that she clearly panics for a second before realizing what had happened. And once she does, she silently leaves.
Somehow, I don't even know what she does now
By this point, they’ve each kind of started their own things, and Phoenix realizes she’s fallen out of the loop on what’s going on in Gwen’s life.
Well, do I wish her the best or do I actually miss her?”
Starting to admit, at least to herself, that she isn’t over her feelings,
She was rooting for me all the time
that Gwen was supportive of her and genuinely wanted to see her improve,
Her love the type; That makes you dedicate your life
and that the only reason she isn’t still a slave to the Kalat is because of Gwen. Her friendship made Phoenix change for the better, in ways she’s still holding to even without her around. She’s become a hero, and she hasn’t really changed that. This is her life now. Because of Gwen.
Thought she needed me but I need her
And she finally really admits to herself that she does still love Gwen.
Mystery Skulls – Hellbent
Hellbent on making you love me too; though I know it’s not what I’m s’posed to do; I don’t give a damn
Gwen would usually know ‘I can fix her’ isn’t a good idea, but she feels like Phoenix already was ‘fixed’ and she just needs to get through to her again.
Phoenix still thinks it’s better to move on because she’s already burned the bridge, but she just can’t.
Both of them won't listen to advice otherwise from anyone.
I’ll prove you wrong
Phoenix wants to save the world instead of Gwen to prove that they could’ve done it together – without PID.
Gwen wants to prove that she really did care, unaware Phoenix has already accepted that because she isn't communicating.
You make me strong
They both still find some strength in their love and their time together, despite being apart. Gwen especially can almost hear Phoenix’s voice from their training together, helping her in fights.
Phoenix is finally fighting for more than just herself.
Madeon – You're On
Maybe you could become my baby; If you just tell me whose side you’re on”
Gwen starts to catch on that Phoenix still cares and wants to convince her to come back to her side
I think w/ Red Jacket AND Lonely Space Age we have enough Madeon now to not need like. pity picks?
Goo Goo Dolls – Iris
Phoenix and Gwen struggling with being on different sides but still loving each other, the occasional moments where they manage to slip back into their old dynamic and spend some time together again. “I don’t want the whole word to see me; ‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand” because both know that their people would dissapprove of the relationship or even just the feelings “And I don’t wanna go home right now” is probably Phoenix, not wanting to go back to the Kalat. Obviously. They'd fucking kill her.
Two Door Cinema Club – Come Back Home
Another Saturday, another careless move; Tells the world that you're thinking of what to do
Phoenix being distracted and sloppy because of her own uncertainty.
A window opens up, then someone calls your name, But I can tell you don't know how to play this game
Phoenix still isn't the best at convincing her allies of her allegiance. Her personality is abrasive and even her affection tends to come off as rude and dismissive. She's allied with the Reformers, but one of them has started voicing distrust in her.
I know that this isn't it; You'll hit your target someday
Gwen still believes in Phoenix and her ability to improve. It doesn't seem like she tries to convince anyone, letting them believe what they believe about her. She thinks she could win them over if she actually knew what to do and tried.
So, tell me what you need and I'll accommodate
Gwen is finally willing to part ways with PID and find a way to defeat the Chalyr on their own, like Phoenix wanted.
But if too long goes by, you just might be too late
She's starting to give up on her coming back (or at least, she's claiming she is. Maybe she thinks she'll give up on her.)
An opportunity you can't afford to waste
Gwen doesn't think she has much else going for her. She needs this. Gwen will accomodate to make it easier, but she really has to take this chance, right?
You hear the day beckoning,
Finally a reference to Gwen's sun imagery; she's beckoning Phoenix back to her, of course. Back home.
So now you're on your own;
There's been dissent raised among the Reformers about whether she can be trusted, despite Hazel's best attempts to convince them. She's not entirely on her own, but she's starting to be pushed out of another group.
Won't you come back home?
Gwen tacitly asserting that Phoenix's home is with her. She doesn't leave any room to question it because she doesn't question it.
To see you're not that kind;
Not like the Kalat. She's proven she sides with humanity, at least to Gwen. Does the way PID views her make her question her ability to change? Can't she see she's not that kind? If so, does it matter what they think?
“And find the strength to find the strength to find another way”
Phoenix has to find the emotional strength to accept her help, but if she does, Gwen is willing to help her find another way. Another way to win this war, to find connection, to win over humans.
The biggest point really is Gwen genuinely believing from the bottom of her heart that Phoenix was at home with her, and she's just running away. But her home hasn't changed; she just needs to come back to it.
Loathe & Sleep Token – Is It Really You?
Face away; Deal with the pain
They both struggle to even be around the other at this point because it’s too painful
How could they; Deal with the pain?
But they wonder how the other is coping with this pain, each now certain the other cares.
I know; It was mine too
The pain they're inflicting on each other is hurting them just as much. The pain is shared.
Is it really you?
‘You, the one I can never get over’
Crushed by silent snow
The lack of the warmth of their relationship, the silence between them, is crushing,
Caught in ebb and flow
the currents of their lives slowly dragging them apart,
I’m bleeding out, now you know
and now Phoenix is fatally wounded. Their time is up.
Let’s search the skies
looking back on the time they spent together, searching for the good memories as something to hold onto
You and I collide like two stars for a while, You and I
acknowledging their relationship as finite, even brief, but in that time being brilliant, beautiful, and absolutely devestating.
This is their solemn realization that they would have no happy ending as Gwen watches Phoenix bleed out, and that they wasted so much time they could've spent together.
Mother Mother – Ghosting and Daft Punk – Face to Face were replaced by Unfold.
Porter Robinson & TEED – Unfold
Phoenix passes out from blood loss. The last thing she remembers is Gwen insisting she can't die, not now, not now that they've finally figured it out.
Phoenix hopes, with the last of her energy, that Gwen knows her time on Earth was good. That even if she dies now, she had a life worth living for a little bit. That she loved her, and wished she could've spent more time with her. She hopes she knows it was all worth it, even if it's ending now.
"I wish I could go home"
She knows her home was with Gwen. And she wants it back so bad.
You're just nostalgic
But she it feels so distant. Out of reach. A blurry ideal. Was it actually as good as it seems through the rose tinted glasses?
What do we wander from and only notice it now?
… It was. It was the happiest time of her life. Why did she throw that away?
So be here with me
It's too late to go back. All she can ask is that Gwen stays until it's all over.
I was setting in stone until I noticed it right
She was so stubborn
Do you see how you've grown?
In the time Phoenix has known her, Gwen has gone from a nervous newbie she could easily squash to a hero that can hold her own against her.
Don't be sorry, then
Phoenix did what she said she would. She helped her get better. She feels proud of her. As strange as it feels to her.
And now I know I'm alive
She didn't feel truly alive before she came to Earth. She didn't think of herself as having a life.
But it's all in retrospect. It's over now. She's run out of time. The world is getting cold. She feels like she's slipping into the dark, the light fading away.
Thaw your hands now, Put color in your cheeks
But then, slowly, she feels warmth returning to her,
(I have been numb)
pulling her back from the cold, from the void that threatened to consume her.
I missed you back then, So be here with me
It's like the sun breaking through the clouds. She just wants to stay here in this light, in this moment, for a little bit longer.
(Where I belong)
She's safe here. This is where she belongs.
And I watched the water unfold
She's seen how life works on Earth. She's found a place in it, however small and sometimes precarious.
It’s a feeling I want you know
And she's enjoyed it. She hopes Gwen knows that.
'Cause I'm not the same as I was
She's changed so much on Earth. She never would've seen herself doing any of this when she was younger. She never saw herself making connections. She never saw herself caring about anyone, or anything.
As I shoulder the weight of the world
Happily taking on the responsibility of being a hero, of having to save the entire planet, is such a turn around from not even caring to save her own life. From feeling like it was all pointless, the only difference she could make was pissing off a few people who had wronged her.
Phoenix has so much now. She's finally found something to live for. She basks in the warmth of the sunlight. She feels happy.
She feels at peace.
AURORA – Your Blood
Your blood, what matter is it made of?
Chalyr have blue blood. Gwen has known this for quite a while, but it's just another little difference between them.
Do you feel it travel in and out your heart?
She wonders what it's like to be Phoenix, sometimes in a very literal, physical way. Phoenix spends plenty of time in a form just like hers. She can only imagine what it feels like to live in her body.
You've prepared for battle, as you fell apart
Even in the midst of emotional turmoil, Phoenix continued to fight. Not for her home planet, not for her people, but for a life she isn't promised with people who fear her true self.
Your voice drowning in the white noise
Whatever she does, where ever she goes, it seems there are people who refuse to accept her as an ally.
Do you hear the echo begging you to let go?
Gwen knows she's questioned her choice before. Even though it's far too late to turn back now, she wonders if she still regrets it. She isn't sure she would blame her.
This earth, whoever was it made for?
Humanity wasn't the first sapient species on Earth, and who's to say they'll be the last? And while they're here, why shouldn't they share it?
Just wait until tomorrow, it might not be as cold
She hopes Phoenix will hold out hope and eventually humanity will see her value and welcome her as herself.
When all inside you burns like a star
Phoenix has often talked about ferocity that burns within you, and has compared her own to Gwen's. And of course, compared hers to the burning sun.
It's after you burn out that you are Reborn again
Very obviously a play on her name, but very also very apt right now. If she is a phoenix, she has burned to ash.
And maybe if you called out for help Then I could help you outrun yourself
Gwen offering her help one more time, desperately begging her to finally accept it.
Come run again, We'll run again
So everything can go back to how it was before, to how it was meant to be.
But I, I refuse to die
And she finally accepts it.
And we are dust
As different as they are, there is a fundamental similarity in the grand scheme of things. Their lives came from dust, and will one day return to dust. They are both dust. They can finally dismiss the petty differences; it won't keep them apart again.
Your blood, what matter is it made of? Do you feel it travel in and out your heart?
She's hurt. Of course she is. She's weak and frail, deep in recovery.
But she's alive. Despite the odds, she's alive.
She wonders if she knows that, somewhere in her sleeping mind. Can she feel that she's still alive? Her heart continuing to beat? Her fire still burning?
She's really lived up to her name. Gwen can't wait to hear her brag about it.
TheFatRat – Let Love Win
This is actually a finale song for a musical story TFR made, and it feels like a fitting ending for this story, too.
Don't give in to the sad machine
The Kalat treat their soldiers like cogs in a machine, made for a given purpose. Even now, Phoenix struggles with it sometimes, loosing track of the idea that she can do more than one thing with her life.
Let love win; When it's hard to find,
Sometimes you can lose track of what's important to you
When it's cold outside
And when you're alone, out in the cold, you need that warmth the most
Don't hide out
I know it's safe and sound
When they're not around
With everything that's happened, Phoenix is understandably less inclined to be around people.
Try your luck; I know it's not for sure,
But it could be the cure
But her connections have gotten her this far. Even though a lot of people dislike her, she continues to try.
I'm alright Out here in a lost land,
Heartbeat like a tambourine,
These fever dreams won't let me sleep
Despite the storm raging around them, and sometimes within them, they manage to hold on and be alright because they have each other
So come real close
If only for a moment,
I don't care where it's going
Whatever happens, however long they have, they're going to spend it together
And show me what'll happen
When we let love win
This argument doesn’t end with one of them winning; it ends when they let love win. And when they work together, and love wins, they both win.
And the war will end when their love prevails over the Kalat's cruelty.
Of course, that isn't where their stories end.
The war that brought them together hasn't even ended yet. It isn't the end of their heartaches and struggles.
If anything, it's a beginning. They still argue and fight, and they still have their issues, but they've realised what's most important to them now. They're holding onto that through the storm around them, even when it comes between them. They work together.
Phoenix struggles to focus on enjoying time with the people who do like her instead of living only to spite those who don't. It was all she knew for so long, but she hates it. She wants to be appreciated. She wants to be happy. She's trying to find that.
Finding out that the person spreading distrust about Phoenix was not a returning member of their order but rather a loyal Kalat spy with orders from the top to kill her specifically, the Reformers have been won over for the most part.
PID have realised they're not getting Sunbird without her night. She'd like to be more than a concession, but at least they are conceding now. RADAR and Jack, at least, are genuinely giving her more of a chance.
But her closest friends are still here for her. Starlight and Hazel stay with her while she's recovering under medical supervision with PID, mostly in case another Kalat assassin (or the first one) is sent to finish the job, but also to reassure her that no one at PID will try to hurt her in her weakened state.
Gwen has realised that the way she thought about Phoenix wasn't exactly the best.
As much as she felt bad for Phoenix having to hide her true form from people, she wanted her to hide her personality, too. She just wanted everyone to get along, and Phoenix isn't exactly easy to get along with. When Phoenix started to get hung up on PID not trusting her, Gwen just wanted her to act like someone they would trust more. She kind of overlooked that she was stuck on it, and tried to get her to use a different unhealthy coping mechanism instead of helping her work on it.
She's trying to let her be herself now, even in front of others. She doesn't make excuses for her rude statements, doesn't try to lighten her morbid jokes. She's her partner, not her PR manager. She'll nudge her and tell her it was a bit off-color, and sometimes she'll even roll her eyes and say she didn't mean it. And people seem to take it better when she's the one to say it.
Well, another revision has ended without me finding a crépe girl song to crowbar in here. That's fine, the Chirpix playlist will make up for it.
- Voxel